


Cat Out of the Bag

by orphan_account



Category: Infernal Devices - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-01
Updated: 2012-12-01
Packaged: 2017-11-20 00:51:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,271
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/579488
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's time Jem finally knows about how Will feels toward Tessa.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Cat Out of the Bag

Tessa’s POV

I enter the weapons room to see Will and Jem talking about one of the many knives on the wall.  
I think about interrupting them, but then get distracted by how kind Will is looking at Jem; as if Jem was the little brother he never had. Like if anything, anything, happens to him, Will would never be able to forgive himself.  
I look at Jem and notice how intently he’s paying attention to Will talk about one knife, like he wouldn’t want to do anything else in the world.  
I think to myself, “That’s the man I’m going to marry.” The kind-hearted, but ill, Jem. I think about how long he must have by now, not long; but try to dismiss the thought out of my head before I elaborate any further.  
I keep watching them until Will catches my eye and we stare at each other for what seems like forever, but I have to look away from his fierce, icy, blue eyes that seem to be screaming something I can’t read. I look over at Jem who, unlike Will, has started to walk over to me.  
I give him a smile. We hug and as I look over his shoulder, I catch Will’s eye. It was just for a second, but that was all I needed to see the depth of what his eyes hold.  
I see his raw desperation, his deep sadness, his longing, and all those are because of me, but I don’t see hate in his eyes. I close my eyes as we break out hug. Why must it be so hard?

* * *

Will’s POV

I watch her talk to Jem. I was so stupid to show my emotions, even just for a second, because in that second, I could tell Tessa saw, all my feeling for her breaking my heart.  
I can remember it, clear as day. That one day was only two weeks ago. Now everyone knows about the wedding and is making plans A.S.A.P. No one knows how long Jem has; his illness getting worse and worse.  
After Jem dies, I’ll have Tessa all to myself. I curse myself for thinking such a thing! We’ll all be grieving Jem; Tessa and I, mostly. He’s been my friend since I came here and I have the strongest bond with him. I’ll be in utter pain when he goes. I’ve tried and tried, going to every warlock-and even one or two witches-but no one has a cure. I stay up countless nights remembering our fun adventures we’ve had here; how they’ll disappear like he will.  
I walk over and give them a fake smile. I listen to Jem talking about knives, and see the bored look on Tessa’s face as he tells her about history of one of the daggers. I look at Jem, full of information that’ll go to waste.  
I look back at Tessa and stare at her beautiful face for far too long. She gives me a confused look that gives me such an urge to kiss it all away; so I can melt into her.  
But I could not have that; that, or anything else like that, because she belongs to Jem now. Not my Tess. Never mine.  
“Um . . . may you excuse me, I have to go to the loo.” Jem says as he turns to go.  
I stare at Tessa and she stares at me. I hear the door close and there is this unspoken silence in the air. “Tess. . .” I whisper. By the angel, I want her so bad; but she has chosen Jem.  
She blinks twice and looks away. “We have to tell him. We can’t do this to him.”  
I sigh. “Yes, I know.Do you want to tell him, or should I?”  
She thinks on this. “I think I should. He would take it better if I do.”  
I nod. I wonder if I’ll ever be able to be hers. I would do just about anything to be hers, and she mine. Anything besides take her from my parabatai. “Okay.”She never gave me an actual answer on how she feels about me. I wonder if she does return my feelings; oh how amazing that would be! Except I would never want to go against Jem like that.  
I keep thinking of how it would be if Jem never fell in love with Tessa as Jem enter the room. He comes up to us with a smile on his face and grabs a hold of Tessa’s hand. “Jem. . .” Tessa begins, making him give questionable looks to us.

* * *

Jem’s POV

“Yes, Tessa?” I say, trying to figure out what’s going on.  
I love over at Will, who has his head to the floor. I look back at Tessa and see her pleading eyes; like she so badly wants to tell me something, but can’t.  
“I. . .Will. . .” She slowly speaks, looking down at the floor, like she has a war going on in her head. “Remember when Will disappeared for a long time? Long enough to make us worry?” She talks slowly, and softly.  
“Yeah. . .he was just gone an extra night, so?”  
“When he came back, he told the most unusual stories, but he can tell you that another time. After he came back, he came into my room, told me the story, then he told me. . .told me. . .that. . .he’s in love with me.” She spoke the last words softly, I had to lean in to hear, and once I did, and it soaked in, I felt so stupid for not noticing it before. The way they look at each other, the way he tries to make only her laugh (and me). How could I be so stupid?  
My mind swiches to the wedding.  
“It was after you asked me.” Tessa adds quietly.  
I don’t want to ask this question, but I must, since I don’t know. I hate how I’m not even sure of the answer.

* * *

Tessa’s POV

“Do you love him?” Jem asks, seeming that the words burn his throat.  
I look up into his eyes, and after a moments hesitation--which I hope he doesn’t catch--I close my eyes and tell a lie.

* * *

Will’s POV

“No.” She tells Jem.  
I look up and try to catch her eye, but she won’t look up from the floor.  
I wonder if that’s the truth. What about when we were on the balcony, when I was up in the attic, or even when she thought I was just a dream? Did she do it just for my enjoyment?

* * *

Jem’s POV

Relief spreads over my body. “Okay.” I say, nodding. I caught that she hesitated, but don’t think it meant anything; too much already on my mind. I kiss her cheek, give her a reassuring smile, and say, “I’m going to talk to Henry and find out what he’s working on this time.”  
What they don’t know is I’m making a gift for Tessa for our wedding with Henry’s help.  
I think about it as I close the door behind me and head down the corridor to Henry’s work place.

* * *

Tessa’s POV

I sigh, feeling bad for lying to him.  
I look up to see Will walking toward me. I look back down as he approaches and puts an arm around me.  
I lean into him the tiniest bit, not even realizing myself. I hear him give a little gasp and tense up, but he keeps his hold on me.

* * *

Will’s POV

Why is she doing this? She knows how I feel. She’s just playing with me. If only she wasn’t.  
I let a silent tear fall down my cheek and move my head so it doesn’t land in her hair.  
I swallow, trying to deflate the rising lump in my throat. I want to ask her about it so badly, but fear her response that would make me lose her forever.  
We stand there until I feel her stir underneath me. I quickly pull my arm away and take the smallest step back, but wanting to leave her just yet.  
She looks up at me with glassy eyes and a flushed face. I just hope she doesn’t notice my tearful eyes.  
I watch as her chin wavers and all I want to do is look away, but her words catch me off guard.  
“I’m so sorry, Will.” Tessa says quietly, a look of dread in her eyes. She looks down at her feet, trying to hiding her tears. “I never imagined it would be like this.” She whispers; more to herself than to me.  
I look at her in astonishment because I know exactly what she means, and have no clue what she meant.  
I wait for her to continue, but all she does is wipe her eyes and look up at me, a new look in her eyes.

* * *

Tessa’s POV

I never thought I’d be in love with two boys. I thought, as I look at Will and slowly shift toward him, not aware until I’m inches from him.  
“Tess. . .” Will breathes.  
My heart starts pumping, my nerves on end, until my hands start shaking. I put my left hand on Will’s shoulder to steady myself and am caught off guard when he lightly puts his hand on top of mine. My first instinct is to pull away, but he grips my hand. He pulls it down to meet his other hand, which takes my right hand.  
We stand face-to-face; both of us locked on each other’s eyes, daring the next move.  
I have no idea what I’m thinking; I’m engaged to Jem! Why, possibly, would I still be in love with Will? All he has shown is hate since I got here, and now he pushes my comfort zone more and more. Hot and cold.  
The only thing is, I like this side of Will, the side where he shows his emotions.

* * *

Will’s POV

I have no thought, only action.  
I let go of her hands and put mine on her waist. Enclosing the small space within us by pulling her to me.  
My heart explodes as our lips meet. My hands, greedy bastards, can’t keep still. They go into her curls of hair and caress her head.

* * *

Tessa’s POV

Pleasure is booming inside me as the tender kiss turns into a frenzy. His lips are a bit salty, but addicting.  
We come apart for breath, and I quickly put my hands in his perfect, black curls and pull him to me, all common sense failing me.

* * *

Will’s POV

“I love you, Tess,” I mumble as we kiss. “my Tess.” I say more quietly, bringing a smile to my face. “I love your smile, personality, laugh, jokes, lips; all--and everything--of you.” I keep kissing her, not letting her go. Never letting her go. Never wanting to.  
“I love you, too.” Tessa says in the smallest voice. I almost didn’t hear her.  
Tears of happiness and sadness mix together.

* * *

Tessa’s POV

What did I just do?! It was true, of course, but it was supposed to be secret.  
I pull away as I feel something wet hit my cheek. I look and see Will is crying, but because of what?  
“I will see you again. I need to talk to Sophie about the wedding gown.”  
I see a flash of hurt on Will’s face, then he’s like a stone wall again.  
I turn and leave the room, feeling so stupid that Will corrupted my thoughts. I’m Jem’s. I remind myself.

* * *

Jem’s POV

I leave Henry’s work place with a happy thought. Tessa is going to be so pleased with her present.  
I think of the earrings that are coming along. They look just like the wings of her necklace. One wing for each ear.  
What takes so long to make them is we’re trying to be as precise as we can come to the real ones. We’ve spent a long time on them and they’re almost done.  
I start to think about Will being in love with Tessa. She can’t possibly be in love wiht him after she said yes to me! She just said it so she can show me how much she trusts me. Yes, that’s it. I wonder why Will has never said anything about it.

* * *

Will’s POV

How did that happen? I am still too shocked as to what happened to do anything besides hide my emotions.  
Since I’m the only one here, I leave and go back to my quarters. When I get there, I look at my books.  
I run my hand along the spines, stopping at A Tale of Two Cities. I pick it up and open it to the letter I wrote to Tessa.  
I feel so stupid for writing it. I drop it on the ground and feel the deep pit in me deepen. I sink into my bed to try and clear my head, but it continues.  
Images of Tessa keep running through my head. Her eyes, her lips, her smile, the way she kissed me, the way she pulled away. She’s Jem’s now.  
I stay in bed for what seem like hours. I watch as the room darkens from night. The candlelight is soon the only light there is.  
As the candle flickers more and more often, I finally blow it out. I close my eyes, hoping I’ll get sleep.  
But sleep never comes. It’s the first sleepless night of many I’ll have. "Why? Why do I keep chasing her?" I think, but the answer is obvious. Because I love her. I’ll never love anyone else.


End file.
